Do not adjust your set: Gwyneth Paltrow is spreading Goop all over TV squib

Everyone’s favourite turbocharged wellness capitalist has laid out her stall in the trailer for her new Netflix show. But what does any of it mean?

Huge excitement in TV’s burgeoning disinfomercial genre, as Gwyneth Paltrow’s Netflix show prepares to make landfall next week. Based on her lifestyle portal, currently valued at $250m, The Goop Lab will see the turbocapitalist fanny-egg entrepreneur take us to new frontiers in the wellness universe.

Incidentally, I just want to say right off the bat that I still have no idea what “wellness” even means, but I make sure to always use it with an appearance of knowingness, like I do with “neoliberalism” or “cervix”. In fact, I am beginning to think there may be some semantic overlap between all three of the aforementioned concepts. And once I’ve read all the books in the world about all the other subjects, I guess I’ll force myself to get around to finding out.

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